The Immortal Throne, for Stella Gemmell

Mohammed Al Mulla

Owns a Ring of Power
#1


Finally, after a long long reading.. I have completed Stella Gemmell's novel, the Immortal Throne.. thanks to my PS4 and Resident Evil Revelations 2 that kept distracting me.. I just got obsessed in collecting medals in Raid Mode.. just want to be ranked 1.. don't know why..

The book was.. err.. I actually expected it to be better that Stella's first book, The City.. as she has the correct environment, but she seems to get out of track and I blame her Proof Readers for that.. she could do much better with this environment and such characters... she had all the elements for a powerful success, but lacked the focus to do that...

I have listed here SOME of my personal preservation regarding the novel.. I hope that no one would take it that I am trying to compare Stella with David... this is not the case.. these are my actual notes keeping other authors aside..

1) it shows that Rubin's father is scary, but they go into long conversation with contents that could cause them both to be beheaded twice at least!

2) Rubin spends 2 years with the 'Blues'.. And never happened to see a watch 'Called the Time Piece' whereas Marcello arrives and within 2 hours have a hold of one from one of the generals and explains its purpose to Rubin!!

3) the tough soldiers noticing Rubin's boots... Excuse me but since when veteran soldiers besieged by enemy acting as they are Barbies in a barbie house?????

4) Stella tries to make a dramatic scene by describing a half dead City female soldier that is left on the battle field.. However.. I believe that it has been exaggerated.. First because it is nearly impossible to happen: a half dead female.. In a Snowy night.. For Many hours!! I mean come on..... If that is the durability of half dead female.. What would be the strength of a fully alive male soldier?? Then the scene talks about the City's archers being close with their 'long range cross bow' and no one dared to dispatch of the poor thing?? Some drama is good Stella... Plenty of it makes it cheap....

5) during a main planning meeting, Rubin seems to be distracting himself by looking at the ceiling and the water droplets, while the table around him is full of generals.. And his leader.. Not sure what should be the meaning of this act.. Is he rude or is he childish?? Or is he so good in what he does that he doesn't need to pay attention to lesser grade soldiers (surely not this!!!)

6) Rubin uses the weird caged animal to rescue the captives at the rivers. The good question is: how the hell did he make sure that it won't turn on him or the hostages? it seemed crazy enough to be unpredictable!

7) during Rubin's flashback with Valla, he seemed to have some sort of partial amnesia as he did not remember why he did not toward the sea after leaving the halls nor why or how he was talking Odrysian to the patrol that caught him.. A very simple trick to tell the reader: don't think. I tell you something and you must accept it!!

8) Rubin and Marcellus meet a gulon while walking in the palace... And Rubin gets amazed that it had a name!! And Marcellus explained that even horses have names!! Such type of conversation is only even fillers.. It is natural to give names to things and creatures!! Damn i even name my cars, one of them is Priest and the other is Sub Zero!! And we do tend to name even astray cats when we cuddle them

9) the soldier defending the Adamantine Wall was complaining regarding the undisputed following of the generals orders... Well, it seems someone has missed the reality train... That's what soldiers do, don't they? If every soldier is to question the generals orders the battle will be won by the enemy before they know it!!

10) there is some repetition in some sections, such as the discussion between Stern and his brother Benet. The same contents of the discussion regarding the gates sealing was going on inside Stern's mind before letting it out with his brother... Just a way to fill more pages in the story...

11) i wasn't able to swallow the fact she used the name Drusus for a drunkard informer.. The name is almost adopted from her late husband novels, Druss the Legend!!! She should have had respected that at least.. It is not like she is out of other names!!

12) another time evaluation issue.. The time it took Rubin to stand from the chair, nod and leave the tavern was enough for 2 soldiers to knock a Drusus down.. Keep kicking him and breaking some ribs.. Keeping in mind that most of the well trained soldiers are either dead or in the Frontiers...

13) while the Palace is falling, Rubin urges Marcellus to evaluate the city and gather troops to retake the city when the time is right, and Marcellus refuses the idea stating that he will fight for the City.. After 3 lines.. He tells Rubin that he is actually evacuating the City and will come back when he muster enough troops!? A very smart idea Marcellus.. I wonder why anyone else thought of that

14) Evan sneaks into Em's compartment in the middle of the night and asks her to get ready to leave with him and she goes with full enthusiasm to prepare without asking about their destination or think about her brother... What loyalty indeed..

15) on their way while being on the horse, Em feels the need to 'Let go' to obey the call of nature... Instead of asking Evan to stop for a minute for a quick leak, she decides to relief herself while being on top lf the horse.. What a poor beast he is..

16) after the battle with the Barbarian, Benet tells his brother Stern that he found food and water left by the enemy, a few lines later, Stern tells his brother Benet that they need to find water... Seems we aren't done with empty and repeated conversation..

17) In the same scene, Stern tells his brother that they need to search for other survivors among the bodies, and after 2 more lines he says that they need to split to search.. So Benet was like: what are we looking for!!! For God's Sake!! What else?? A socket to charge an iPhone 7???????? This book is indeed full with repeated talks just to make it fatter

18) when waking up from his comma, Hammarskjald tells Broglanh that Selen wanted him dead.. For God's Sake how is he supposed to know who the hell is Selen? He was unconscious for more than 2 chapters before entering the valley!!!

19) 2 minutes later (thats like 20 minutes after Broglanh awakening from the comma), a lady approach him, telling him to begon and that he was not welcomed, and he gives a very harsh reply.. I mean.. COME ON!! He is only a damn guest there.. And how did he know that the lady is not Selene who wanted him dead??????

20) his thoughts took him that he heard that Selene Vincerus was dead or insane OR BOTH?? What the...? How can somebody be dead AND insane at the same time??????????

21) when Archange was interrogating Rubin, her head of Knights, Darius, enters in a hurry without knocking or asking for permission, and they have a very long discussion before the Sir Knight says that there is a huge Army is at the City Gate.. I wonder regarding the sense of prioritization that these people have.. also, not even Archange was annoyed by the sudden entrance!!

22) when Archange is interrogating Rubin about Marcellus, she keeps asking many questions and stressing for more info, till she asked the dumbest question i have ever encountered in my life, which is 'what were his last words to you'.. I mean.. Come on... What sort of questions is that????? I understand asking for any special or confidential information, but asking about last wordings? Why didn't she just say that she has read that chapter and wanted to remind the sleeping readers about the conversation!?

23) even though she is told that a huge army is at the gates of the City, she delays the execution of Rubin for 20 days.. For me.. I guess she is being a bet too optimistic, believing that she and the city would be around to carry that execution sentence!!!

24) While stern was talking to Hayden, he thought of the fact that the City people believe that the Blues are stupid for not being able to speak the City Language.. And they call themselves developed!!?? And can't acknowledge the difference in culture and heritage? Then would that make me stupid for not being able to speak Portuguese? What about French who can't talk Sawaheli? Are they dump? What a stupid concept! That what happens when someone tries to write much just for the sake of making their book seem fatter!

25) While Hayden discussion with Stern, he said that the City did not acknowledge inventions as the Time Pieces, i.e. the watches, because the old emperor was depending on the City soldiers superiority rather than such devices.. Well excuse me.. Time pieces are time pieces! They have nothing to do with a superiority of an army.. It is just like saying: Russia does not import BMW because they believe in superiority and strength of its army.. Can't find a damn link.. I would understand if it is being spectacle as in case of Camera.. But a time piece!?????

26) when General Hayden asks for some volunteer from his little army, no one responded, and Stern tells him 'City Soldiers are not given to volunteering ' (these are the exact used words at page 416), for me, a humble mechanical engineer, i understood that this army is not used to be given choices but they are ordered to specific actions (like robots???!!), where as the general himself was angry asking why their refuse to be scouts!! Errr, will i be fine in working under a general who can't understand English!?????????? He might understand the 'Tactical Retreat ' as Suicidal kamikaze Attack!!! Oh yeah.. Stella works on filling the book when unnecessary lines just to make it heavy and expensive

27) General Hayden was frustrated because he couldn't know anything of the enemy's background, even though he had been chasing them for days... Well, hate to break ot to you General, but a marching army is rarely tended to start a cultural festival, specifically when it is a day's march from a decisive battle. Besides, the only scout his man caught they killed before asking him questions!

28) i really got confused about the actual size of the canon the barbarian army was transporting, as since they were first mentioned, they sounded like huge metallic drums.. Maybe meters in length.. But then as Stern is sneaking through the enemy's camp in order to sabotage them, is seems that he was searching for a needle in a hay storage yard!!!!!!!!!! Does Stella even keep track of the size preselection in her world??

29) Stella makes her world seems cruel and vicious by saying that the dungeon guards get their tongues ripped off to prevent them from conspiring with the prisoners.. Wonder.. What about writing and hand signals!?? It is true that the deaf and mute hand signals are newly invented in our world, but it does not mean they were getting in trouble to explain that they want to do something since the dawn of history

30) i really don't get how Stella is making the foundation of her realm.. Darius and his Nighthawks reach the Paradise Gate, which is under siege and defended by General Kerr troops, when their Oil need dilemma is resolved, he decides to take his troops to another gate.. Does each group leader has the freewell to mobilize his troops as he sees fit!??? What if a leader decided to take his team to a picnic rather than joining a battle frontier?? Errrr

31) Marcellus appears while the city under siege and killing a handful of Archange soldiers and guards in the process, stating later than he came to offer help to face the enemy and offering 2000 armed men.. WHY THE HELL DID HE KILL THE OTHER SOLDIERS?!!! His explanation is that they dared to face him....... OMG .. Couldn't he just ask them that he needs to meet the impress??? Also, don't the soldiers know him!!!?? So why facing him and not bothering to send a message to Archange??

32) a messenger tells Archange that the enemy is bringing a plague to the city, and a soldier confirms by stating that the enemy soldiers are throwing the heads of their dead over the walls to transfer the disease.. Brilliant indeed.. The question is.. That meant that the enemy soldiers are either actually carrying the plague, which brings up the question of how it survived while carrying a plague on them?? Or that they are carrying the plague in a jar and they just infected themselves with the illness once they reached the City.. Well, here is another question.. Why didn't they throw the Jars over the walls rather than the heads??? Or is it just another filler to show the cruelty of the enemy?? Just lame lame lame.. At the final confrontation, Hammarskjald states that it is an ENGINEERED Plague to affect the Serafim only.. Let's put these things together now.. At time where they just invented the watch.. Just developed cannons.. Riding horses and using arrows and swords.. Someone actuall makes a biological weapon using an alteration of a characteristics of a bug... Very.. Ummm.. Interesting.. Maybe???

33) the character named 'Benet' was a main mover of action.. Because he was.. Err.. He was... Well he was blind as a mole.. And swings an Axe like a mad man because he couldn't see friend from foe.. And he had plenty of argument with his comrads regarding his ability to see that made the book seems fat and bigger. So Stella did need him otherwise the book would be shorter by half.. When his purpose is done.. Well, he just dies because of the plague..simply.. She could have made him die on the battlefield!!!
34) i just can't understand Stella way of calculating odds.. The enemy is made out of tens of thousands whereas Hayden troops are merely 200 (well they started their peruse of the enemy army as 200, and i think that 384 died along the way added to the plague..and yet they talk and plan as if they are made out of a million strong warriors

35) finally ot appears that this entire war is just about some long forgotten disputes that "even people forgot about it!! No strong physical cause.. Some people got in a disagreement, one goes his own way and use his anger to raise an army (HOW??) And is using it to destroy the city (WHY???)

36) Emly enters the city and finds a City Army camp, when being asked what she is doing, she talks of an army of the City that we obliterated, and this costed her a horse and almost costed her the other... I wonder, why didn't she just say that she has a package to the empress and see herself escorted like royalty?? I mean, it was a time of war and surely not all messengers to the empress would wear in silk and gold... Besides.. All she had to do is give out her name as she was close to the empress and surely her disappearance was followed by dispatching of soldiers and scouts... Just more useless talk, i believe..

37) Stella speaks of a plague that swarms the city, and then Emly stumbles on a hospital camp.. In the middle of the City.. A place where a riding person needs days to pass from the gate to the mountain at its centre

38) Marcellus and Rubin were discussing the need to return to the White Palace.. And they were talking about Marcellus's brother, Rafe, son.. The thing i could not understand it was that they were refering to the infant as 'it'.. Like... Is he a pet or something???????

39) on their way to the White Palace, a group of soldiers emerge from the rubbles and block their way.. Marcellus looks at them at calls one among them reminding him that he knew him (HUH???) Marcellus and his brother Rafe should have been like the super celebrities of the city.. Actually there should be a TV series called "Everybody loves Marcellus!"!! Besides.. Why didn't the soldier speaks earlier?? Just more lines and more paper...

40) during the final confrontation between the big 3 Serafim, Rubin offers himself in place of Rafe's child for Hammarskjald.. Just another distraction to lengthen the events.. Basically because Marcellus already stated that Hammarskjald interest in the infant comes from him being the first born to a mirror (a clone), which is Rafe, which is expected tko have enormous powers or be even a monster.. So why the hell did be butt in??????

41) among ALL the people.. All the soldiers.. All the creatures that could be at that moment.. The girl hands over the veil to Evan... I mean.. What a coincidence.. The timing.. The gathering of the needed elements.. Till now i keep thinking.. Can this happen in real life!??????

42) when Archange asks Evan about the whereabout of Emly, he answers with confidence that she is dead.. The he asks her permission to go and seek out Emly and bring her back to the palace dead... or .. Guess what.... ALIVE!!??? I wonder who makes the proof reading for Stella????

43) as Evan finds the dead body of Em, he started crying and hugging her.. And so did the rest of the surrounding people to pray to Em.. I have a question here.. Didn't they have losses of their own????? Didn't the city suffer casualties and losses?? Why would the death of 1 unknow and the crying of another unknown cause them to join in?? Such a lame drama... Tsk tsk tsk.. Shame shame.
 

Mohammed Al Mulla

Owns a Ring of Power
#2
One thing I am amazed from is that I couldn't find more than ONE Catching Quot!! a line that can speak wisdom, bravery, evil, madness.. ANYTHING.. Except 1 line..